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My new shoes hurt me!

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Little Betty was crying bitterly. Teacher asked what was the matter.

Betty: “Oooh! My new shoes hurt me!”

“Well, no wonder,” explained Teacher, “you have them on the wrong feet.”

But Betty kept right on crying. “I haven’t any other feet!” she cried.

People of Japan noted for?

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Teacher: “What are the people of Japan noted for?”

Charlie: “For their stupidity.”

Teacher: “Where ever did you get that idea?”

Charlie: “It says here in that board that the population of of Japan is very dense.”

You know what a comet is?

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Teacher: “That’s a comet.”

Little Eddie: “A what?”

Teacher: “A comet. You know what a comet is?”

Little Eddie: “No.”

Teacher: “Don’t you know what they call a star with a tail?”

Little Eddie: “Sure – Mickey Mouse.”

Why are you late?

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Teacher, to tardy student: “Why are you late?” Barry: “Well, a sign down the street said-“

Teacher, interruption: “Now what can a sign possibly have to do with it?”

Barry: “The sign said: ‘School ahead; go slow.'”

Because wars make history

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The teacher was trying to impress upon her students the advantages of peace. “How many of you young people object to war?” she asked. Up went several hands.

“Sammy, will you tell the class why you object to war?”

“Because wars make history,” replied Sammy promptly.