Teacher: “Jasper, I can scarcely read your hand-writing. You must learn to write more clearly.” Kid: “Aw, what’s the use? If I wrote any better, you’d start complaining about my spelling!”
Little Betty was crying bitterly. Teacher asked what was the matter. Betty: “Oooh! My new shoes hurt me!” “Well, no wonder,” explained Teacher, “you have them on the wrong feet.” But Betty kept right on crying. “I haven’t any other feet!” she cried.
Teacher: “What are the people of Japan noted for?” Charlie: “For their stupidity.” Teacher: “Where ever did you get that idea?” Charlie: “It says here in that board that the population of of Japan is very dense.”
Teacher: “That’s a comet.” Little Eddie: “A what?” Teacher: “A comet. You know what a comet is?” Little Eddie: “No.” Teacher: “Don’t you know what they call a star with a tail?” Little Eddie: “Sure – Mickey Mouse.”
Georgie: “Teacher, would you scold anybody for something they didn’t do?” Teacher: “Of course not. But why, Georgie?” Georgie: Well, I didn’t do my arithmetic!
Teacher, brightly: “As we walk out-of-doors on a cold winter’s morning and look about us, what do we see on every hand?” Second-Graders, in unison: “Gloves!”
Teacher: “Name five things that contain milk.” Barry: “Butter, cheese, ice cream, and —- and —- two cows.”
Teacher: “Paul, can you tell me the name of an animal that travels great distances?” Paul: “yes. A goldfish. It travels around the globe.”
Teacher, to tardy student: “Why are you late?” Barry: “Well, a sign down the street said-“ Teacher, interruption: “Now what can a sign possibly have to do with it?” Barry: “The sign said: ‘School ahead; go slow.’”
The teacher was trying to impress upon her students the advantages of peace. “How many of you young people object to war?” she asked. Up went several hands. “Sammy, will you tell the class why you object to war?” “Because wars make history,” replied Sammy promptly.