Little five-year-old Betty was taken to church for the first time. As she walked out of the church with her parents, the preacher stopped her, leaned over, and asked her how she liked church. I liked the music okay, said Betty, but the commercial was too long.
Posts Tagged ‘very’
A lady decided to have the little neighbor boy stay for lunch one day. As the meal got under way, she watched his struggles to manipulate his knife and fork and, hoping to be helpful, finally asked him, Are you sure you can cut your steak? Oh yes, he replied. We often have it this tough at home.
The visiting governor of Maine was addressing a group of the inmates of a penitentiary. Fellow citizens, he began , then stopped short, Because they were not citizens. Fellow convicts, he began again, then realized he was again off the beam. Well, boys, he finally said, I don t know what to call you, but I m mighty glad to see so many here.
Dr. Carson Carter, noted health authority, who was to speak at the Century Club on How to keep Well, could not appear because of illness. The California (PA.) Sentinel.
A patient was convalescing from an appendectomy. A friend came to see him. How you doing? I m doing all right, but the day after the operation they opened me up again to take a sponge out of me they left in there. Yesterday they opened me up again and took out a scalpel that they forgot. Just then the doctor walked in. Has anyone seen my hat around here? He asked.
Mrs. Millie Mock broke her arm recently. She is recovering nicely under the car of Dr. Leatherman. The California (PA.) Sentinel.
An extremely nervous man carried his twins up to the baptismal font for the christening. What are the names of the little boy and girl? Asked the minister. Steak and Kidney, stuttered the embarrassed father. What? Their names, corrected the wife icily, are Kate and Sidney.
Now that you ve seen my new son, said the proud new father, which side of the house do you think he resembles? Well, said his embarrassed bachelor friend, I came in the front door and really didn t notice either side of the house.
Hostess (at a dinner party): What, going already, Professor Bennett? And must you take your dear wife with you? Professor: Indeed, I m sorry to say I must!
As a steamer was leaving Athens, a woman went up to the captain and, pointing to the distant hills, inquired: What is that white stuff on those hills? That is snow, madam, replied the captain. Well, said the lady, I thought so myself. But a gentleman just told me it was Greece.